How To Keep Moving Ahead When Fear Is Holding You Back

by Bonnie Boots 

It happens to all of us. We start moving ahead, plowing into a new project that will take our business or our life to the next level when -WHAM!-something brings us to a standstill. And…we…stop…making…progress.

That "something" may feel like frustration, confusion, depression or fatigue, but dig down below the surface and you'll often find that what it really is-is fear.

Doing something that stretches your limits, even when it's something you're really excited about, always brings on some measure of fear: fear of meeting new people or situations, fear of failure, fear of having people find out you're not as smart as they think you are.

All these fears and more can surface as soon as we start moving into unknown territory. And when that territory is the vast, shifting terrain of doing business on the internet, the fear factor can be significant.

I've seen this happen to many people as they move through the stages of building or expanding their business onto the internet. I've felt it happening to me. I'll be plunging ahead, well pleased with my progress, when suddenly something stops me.

Last time it happened, I was setting up my shopping cart, a service that combines invoicing, payment processing, autoresponders , email broadcasts and mailing lists.

It's a particularly complex bit of technology and trying to get a handle on how it all works, and then getting it to work right, was almost overwhelming. As soon as I'd struggle over one huge obstacle, the next one would appear. I began to feel like I was lost in the Himalayas, and there were days when I just wanted to lay down in the snow and scream.

That's when the voices started, those little voice that whisper, "I can't do this. It's too hard. I'll never learn this. I'm not smart enough."

And that's when I started feeling like I didn't want to get out of bed, just pull the covers up over my head and refuse to face another day. Luckily, I'd long ago learned a few tricks that get me past this sort of situation.

Here are 4 simple techniques that help me take control of my thoughts and get myself back on track before fear and frustration can snowball into procrastination or depression.


ONE: When your mind fills with negative, critical and fearful thoughts, challenge those thoughts by asking yourself common sense questions that will bring your mind back to a more objective outlook,

For example, you've been setting up your shopping cart and come to a halt because you don't understand the directions. Talking to tech support hasn't exactly helped. It seemed to make sense while you were on the phone, but now that you're on your own again, it all seems very puzzling. You start to worry that you'll never figure it out, and if you never figure it out, you'll never get your business off the ground, and if....ARGHHHHH!

When fear threatens to send your thoughts into a tail spin, you have to take over the controls and pull yourself up. One way to do this is to write out a list of all the things that are stopping you-the problems and the fears. Then go through your list and, one by one, write out possible solutions.

What can you do if you're unable to set up your own shopping cart? One option is to hire someone to do it for you. Another option is to ask for help in a forum. Another option is to call a friend who knows how to do it and have them talk you through it. By writing out your problems and fears and facing them with rational thought, you'll diminish their power.

TWO: Sometimes problems, frustrations and set backs can turn into depression so deep that you have trouble getting out of bed in the morning. Facing another day of struggle just doesn't seem worth it.

When that's the case, relax your body as much as you can and take several very deep breaths, pulling your stomach in toward your spine, filling up your lungs and then forcefully expelling the stale air. After you take several of these deep breaths, get quickly out of bed and jump into some physical activity that's fun.

Don't stop for breakfast. Don't even look at your computer or the umade bed. Head right out the door for a walk in the park or around your neighborhood, or dance without inhibition to some music you really enjoy. Once you've supercharged your body with oxygen and gotten your heart pumping with some fun activity, you'll feel your mood lift, bringing with it the energy and confidence you need to get back on track.

THREE: Sometimes just thinking about a difficult, frustrating task is enough to bring on fatigue and procrastination. When this happens, take a few minutes to sit down somewhere quiet. Take some deep breaths, relax and imagine that you have just finished the dreaded task. Don't imagine how you finished it, only that you have finished it.

Imagine as vividly as you can just how relived you feel to have it behind you, and how proud you feel of yourself for managing to conquer it. After a few minutes of this, go back to work on some other task, something you can do easily.

Later, when you return to the once-dreaded task, you'll face it with more confidence and control. Why? Because you're mind can't tell the difference between real and imagined events. It now believes you've already handled the task once before, successfully, and it will expect to be able to handle it this time, as well.

FOUR: A tool I find very helpful is a notebook I keep filled with positive quotes that make me feel good. Whenever I feel overwhelmed or frustrated and fear starts to set in, I open my notebook and read those quotes. Before long, my mind is filled with powerful, positive and uplifting thoughts that open the door to new energy, ideas, and inspiration that never fails to calm my fears.

Managing your fears takes practice. The more you use these basic techniques, the better you will be at managing your thoughts and motivating yourself towards ever bigger and brighter goals.


 

 About the Author

Bonnie Boots is the publisher/editor of The Internet Wizards Magazine for people who want to create their own products and market on the internet. Register for your free 1-year subscription at http://www.theinternetwizards.com